When my lungs came back to me, I started to feel my body a little bit. I could move my fingers a little bit. I didn’t realize how long I had been unconscious. Hours, days… How long have I been here? I tried to sit up slowly; I didn’t have the strength to sit up. My arms were shaking even when I was getting help from the ground. When I managed to sit up, I leaned my back against the wall. I couldn’t fully comprehend everything. I was squinting and looking around stupidly. I was alone in the dark alley. I brought my left hand to my face and rubbed my eyes and face.
I felt something smear from my face to my hand, and when I pulled my hand back, I came to my senses. It was Kevin’s blood splattering on my face. It hadn’t been days. Kevin had been dead for hours. Kevin was flashing before my eyes. He had died with a sound that filled the air right after his eyes filled with fear as he looked at the gun. I felt the blood splatter on my face once more.
Ivan and his men were after me. I was in no shape to get up and leave. It was obvious what would happen if they found me now. I had no choice but to sit here quietly and gather my strength. After wiping the blood off my face with the inside of my elbow, I reached for the cigarette packet in the inside pocket of my jacket. I took a cigarette from the packet and placed it between my lips as the blood on my finger smeared on the cigarette. I lit the end of the cigarette and coughed. No matter how strong my lungs were, I could tell they couldn’t recover. When the coughing subsided, I took a second puff, my lungs getting a little more used to the cigarette smoke with each puff.
I lit cigarettes after cigarette. There was nothing here but my thoughts. My life had turned to shit. I kept trying to fix everything and everything kept getting shittier and shittier. I had run away from home for a trouble-free life and now I was dealing with more problems. I didn’t know what to do, I was confused.
My attention shifted to the sound coming from the street. I could hear footsteps; Ivan and his men must still be looking for me. Who else would come to this secluded place at this time of day? I was going to keep quiet and wait for them to leave. The footsteps kept coming. I was getting nervous. I kept thinking about what had happened to Kevin. Soon Ivan would stand in front of me and point his gun at me.
I could see the gun pointed at me, right in front of me, the barrel facing me. Instead of looking at Ivan, my eyes were fixed on the end of the barrel. I didn’t want to miss the bullet that would come out of it seconds later. When Ivan fired the gun without saying anything, I saw a stranger in front of me.
“What are you doing here?” I was staring at the man I didn’t expect to see in front of me. “Are you okey? Do you want me to take you to hospital?”
Words were getting stuck in my throat. To be well, to go to the hospital, when I couldn’t even stand up…. “Well, uh… I…”
I didn’t know what to say to the stranger standing in front of me, he was slowly approaching me. He was trying to see if I was okay. He crouched down in front of me and came to my eye level. I followed his movements with my eyes. Soon he would notice the blood on my face, he had to. Then he would want to walk away or call the police. They would come here too. As I was thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that it was better for Ivan to come here. There was no gun barrel pointed at me. He would soon see blood on my face…
“You look exhausted. It must have been a hard day for you.” Pointing right next to me, he continued talking. “Can I sit next to you??”
Sit next to me? I looked where he was pointing. Did he really want to sit next to me? Why would he do this senseless thing, go call the police now. Silently I looked at his face again. Despite the blood on my face, I could tell he wanted to sit. Without waiting any longer, he sat next to me.
“You may be wondering why I’m sitting next to you. I wasn’t planning to run into you, I was just passing by. Judging by the blood on your face, you’ve had a rough day.”
I was still struggling to understand who this person was and why he sat next to me even though he saw the blood on my face? “Why don’t you call the police?’’
“You really want me to call the police?”
“Are you playing with me or are you one of Ivan’s men?”
Even so, what could I do, I didn’t have the strength to escape. I had a hard time remembering how many people were in the car, whether he was one of them or not. Apart from us, Ivan, the man in front of me and the driver… I didn’t remember another man, but I had never seen the driver’s face.
“I don’t know who he is.”
He was sitting calmly next to me. When I turned my head to him, he turned and looked at me. “I’m not sure if you’re telling the truth. You’ll call Ivan in a minute, won’t you?”
Despite what I said, he started to smile. I couldn’t see anything to smile about. He reached into the inside pocket of his coat. “Do you want a Red Bull? If you drink alcohol, I’m sorry. I quit a long time ago.”
Red Bull? I was just staring at this guy’s face; he had just appeared out of nowhere. On top of that, he was sitting next to me, and now… I was questioning the reality of it all. As I kept looking at him, I kept thinking that it wouldn’t take that long to get two Red Bulls out of his pocket.
“Is it that hard to get two Red Bulls out?” I heard the man laugh at my words.
“You’d be surprised what I can fit in this pocket.” Finally, he took out two Red Bulls and handed me one. “There you go. Tell me, who is this, Ivan?”
I guess it couldn’t hurt to tell him, I was having a hard time distinguishing right from wrong in the situation I was in. I took a sip of the drink and started to tell him.
When I finished, I was staring at the opposite wall, I had nothing more to say. I was sitting tired, blood on my face, a cigarette in my hand, a stranger next to me. The man threw the cigarette butt forward and reached for the packet between us.
The fire from his cigarette lit up a little bit. When we were in the darkness again, he took his first drag from the cigarette. “A life without problems…”
“Whatever I did, it only made things worse.”
He was staring at the opposite wall just like me. I couldn’t guess what he was thinking. He kept staring at the wall. For a moment I thought he could see Kevin on the opposite wall. We continued to smoke our cigarettes in silence.
“I think you need to get to the root of the problems, maybe that’s how you can get the life you want.” He took his eyes off the wall and looked at me. After the last breath, he rose to his feet. “It was nice talking to you. You should go home and get some rest.”
Without saying any more, he started walking towards the exit of the alley. His black coat blended into the darkness, disappearing a little more with each step. Why had he come and why was he leaving now? I didn’t even know his name. Then he disappeared into the darkness. Would I ever see him again? I didn’t know why I thought such a thing. He just came and sat next to me. He listened to me and now he was leaving. He left other questions behind, he didn’t resolve anything.
Whoever he was, it was none of my business. The last thing he said made no sense. I had big problems following me. I had to get rid of them as soon as possible. I didn’t look after him anymore and leaned my head against the wall. I kept smoking my cigarette. When I realized it was over, I threw the butt a little further and lit a new one.
I was alone in the street, as I had been at the beginning. I was sure of one thing now; I had lost Ivan. I raised my head and tried to look up at the sky. I could see nothing but darkness. I couldn’t even make out that it was the sky I was looking at. I tried to stand up with the help of the wall. My body ached and my right shoulder hurt. Eventually I managed to stand up. Even though my pain told me to move, I had no intention of staying in this dry and cold place. I grabbed my right shoulder and headed in the direction the stranger had gone. Unlike usual, I was taking my steps more slowly. I often drove on the ground because I had difficulty moving my feet. As soon as I left the alley, I started heading towards my house.