“I can’t figure out exactly what I’m supposed to do.” I’ve been waiting for Veronica’s story to come together. “I treated them with respect, I did what they said, but they didn’t want to acknowledge me even a little bit. I just wanted them to acknowledge me a little bit.”
She was talking about her family again and it hurt. I told her what to do, but she couldn’t accept it. She was complaining about her family in front of me once again. I was pondering in my head whether it would be better to open my mouth or not. I didn’t want her to be upset and wear herself out, but on the other hand, an unnecessary argument might arise. As long as I didn’t open my mouth, she would complain like this and upset herself.
“Veronica, you’ve got to stop caring so much about them.”
She was staring into my eyes like she did in the pub. There was disappointment on her face. I understood that she wanted to be supported, and I supported her. Was it so hard for her to see that? I only wanted what was best for her.
She got up from the sofa in a huff. “Do you realize what you’re saying? You’re asking me to disregard my family.”
“You talk like you have a choice. All you’re doing is complaining.”
“You’re wrong, unlike you, I’m seeking a solution.”
The last sentence she said… Wasn’t it a solution I offered? I no longer felt the need to respond. It was pointless to stand there any longer. I slowly got up from the sofa. I had brought the inevitable, even though I knew it would be like this. Why didn’t I shut up… I was walking down the corridor with Veronica watching me. I’d bothered myself for nothing. It wasn’t even my problem.
“Where are you going?”
The last thing I cared about right now was Veronica. I put my jacket on my back and pulled the door shut behind me. I went down the stairs quickly. I was trying to clear my head when I got to the metro. I lit myself a cigarette. I was relaxing as I inhaled the cigarette.
Kevin and I were smoking a cigarette in a secluded alley. The alley was dark except for a streetlamp just ahead. Its light was flickering. We were waiting for two people. We were looking around while smoking our cigarettes. A vehicle entered the street. Its headlights started to illuminate the street. It was coming slowly in front of us among the parked cars. We continued to smoke our cigarettes calmly without making a fuss. I was looking at the people inside the vehicle out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn’t see anything. When it entered the other street, it slowly disappeared.
I threw the cigarette butt away. “When will the people you mentioned come?”
“They’ll be here… They’re here, man.’’
When Kevin turned towards the only streetlamp illuminating the area, I looked in that direction. Two people were coming towards us under the light. They took their time and kept coming slowly. One was taller and bigger than the other. The shorter one had broad shoulders and a well-built body. When they came near us, the shorter man held out his hand.
Kevin quickly threw it away and shook the man’s hand. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
After the man shook my hand too, I took out the small package from the inside pocket of my jacket. I handed it to the man. When he took it he started to examine the package with the flashlight of the phone. Once he had touched the package enough, he smelled it. The smell didn’t seem to satisfy him. He looked at me and then at Kevin. He was asking for permission to take a small taste from the package. When Kevin gave him permission, he poked his pinky finger into the package.
I could see the satisfaction on his face after licking his finger. “That’s nice, you’ve got Maximilion behind you, don’t you?”
“You look like you know Maximillion.”
The man answered Kevin’s question without hesitation. “I did a job with him once. It wasn’t a big job. I don’t think you can do a big job with that guy.’’ He was closing the package as soon as he opened it. “Anyway, with Maximillion behind you, you must have more valuable stuff, am I wrong?”
I could see Kevin smiling. “It will cost you.”
“Wouldn’t that be in your favor?”
I had a smile on my face. He seemed honest and straightforward. Somebody was going to pay; somebody was going to have fun. Kevin took the small, transparent package out of his jacket pocket and handed it to the man. The man was examining the package in his hand with a phone torch, as he had done the first time.
He put the package in his pocket and switched off the phone light. The man next to him reached into his pocket and pulled out a stack of bills. A thousand dollars was in front of us. It suddenly got very quiet. He quickly handed me the money.
‘‘Nice doing business on leave, lads. See you next time.”
The two men and I went our separate ways. I looked back as we drove off into the darkness. We were getting further and further apart. Kevin and I were moving through the souks to one place.
“We made good money.”
What Kevin said put a smile on my face. “You’re right, we’re gonna make good money at the end of this.”
We heard one or two dogs barking. When I stepped onto the tracks, it was hard to see in front of me. The city lights didn’t reach this far. There were a few streetlamps dotted around. Kevin was lighting the way ahead with his mobile phone. At the terminal, there were trains waiting to leave tomorrow, decaying wagons, those travelling to distant destinations, those carrying freight, and more; they were all here. We were moving through the wagons to a quiet place where no one could find us. Apart from the sound of dogs barking, our footsteps accompanied us. The road was stony and not very easy to walk. We slowed down when we came near the train.
Kevin switched off the flashlight on the phone. “We’ve got to get through security, then we’re good.”
We were leaning against the train and looking at the security guard. He was lighting the place with his lantern. After waiting for the guard to move away for a while, we got out of where we were. We left the train with careful and silent steps. When we got to the other side, there was a freight car left to rot after three wagons. We were going near it.
“I haven’t been here for a few days, mate.’’
“You’ve been spending time with her lately, you seem to be getting on very well.”
Kevin quickly climbed into the carriage after a sarcastic remark. “Give me your hand.”
He grabbed my outstretched hand and pulled me up. With three steps into the carriage, I sat down on the floor and leaned back, and Kevin crouched right next to me. I lit a cigarette in the silence of the night. I was looking at the sky through the open door of the carriage.
Kevin poked me in the shoulder. “Did you make love to her?”
I wasn’t expecting a question like that. “What?”
“I’m saying, you’ve never… Come on, don’t tell me you haven’t.’.” I started smiling. The answer to that was a definite yes. Kevin could see it in my face. “That’s my boy.”
“We went to LunaClub the other day.”
“How was it?”
I knocked the ash from the cigarette to the side. “We loved the place.”
He gave me a cocky look and laughed. I could see the massive ego he was building up. “I knew you’d love the place.”
Talking about Veronica reminded me of the argument I had with Kevin before we met. I was thinking about what I’d done wrong. I shouldn’t have said anything, but… I didn’t want to upset him.
“Kevin, Veronica and I had a little argument today.” Kevin looked at me. He wanted to know what I had to say. “She keeps saying that her family does not see her and then refuses to accept the solution I propose.’
“What is your solution?”
I switched on Kevin’s phone flashlight and leaned it against the wall. I needed some light. I took the heroin packet out of my pocket. I slowly opened the packet. I put some heroin into the dessert spoon I took from Kevin. I took the lighter out of my pocket and started to heat the spoon. The heroin was melting and changing color as it heated. After a short while, I put the lighter down, the heroin had thickened and was waiting to enter the body. I took the small syringe Kevin handed me, and I sucked the spoonful into the syringe without spilling it. I looked at the syringe for a while. I didn’t like this method. The needle made me nervous, but I wanted this. I put the needle tip close to the inside of my elbow. I was preparing myself for the needle.
“Just do it, mate’’
“Don’t stress me, I’m not good with needles.’’
I took a deep breath and stuck the needle in. I pressed the head of the syringe, and I was transferring all the heroin into my body. There was a little warmth in my arm and that warmth was spreading all over my body. I felt great. I saw Kevin lighting the lighter. It was his turn.
I switched off the phone flash and we were in the dark. Kevin and I were sitting on our backs and listening to the sounds coming from outside. I could see the world revolving around me. The sounds coming from outside started to increase. In addition to the sounds of cats and dogs, I was also hearing voices I couldn’t understand. As the voices got louder, they became uncomfortable. I could hear a thick voice shouting at someone, the person shouting curses. The voices were disturbing. I covered my ears with my hands, trying to drown out the voices. I looked at Kevin standing to my right, and he looked at me. We were laughing at each other involuntarily because we were high. We were just laughing.
“Want to hear the news?”
I kept staring at the sky. “What news?”
“I have good news and bad news. Kevin was waiting for a reaction from me despite what he said. I turned my head to look at him, and that was enough for him to continue. “The good news is, Maximillion finally recognizes us. I’m about to get this job I’ve been trying to arrange.”
“Really?” I asked a new question at Kevin’s confirmation. “How do you know that?”
“Ivan told me, but…’’ This ‘but’ meant something was wrong. “The bad news is we’re going to must grit our teeth a little bit longer. At least ten, maybe fifteen days from now…”
In my head, I was assessing the situation. Ten or 15 more days. We’d chase the money for a bit longer and then we wouldn’t have to. We’d be comfortable with Maximillion. It wasn’t that long, and it was worth it. I was happy about Kevin’s news.
“Let’s get up and eat, I’m hungry.
We were leaving the freight wagon and going back the way we came. When the security turned back, we left the terminal with the same caution. We were walking on the pavement, looking around for a place to eat. After passing two or three streets, we saw a kiosk on the next corner. There was a customer. While Kevin and I were discussing whether to sit or not, we saw red and blue lights reflected in front of us. I looked back calmly and saw a police car pulling into the street. The sight of the cops confirmed our idea. We went to the shop, and when we sat on the stools next to each other, the police were passing behind us.
“Guys, what can I get you?”
I felt that I was under the influence of heroin. I was staring at the owner of the shop, not knowing what to say. He was waiting for me to order without saying a word.
“I’ll have a hot dog.”
I looked at Kevin as the shopkeeper was writing down Kevin’s order on the notepad in his hand. I was starting to think about getting a hot dog, too. When I looked back at the man, he was looking at me with an annoyed expression.
“I’ll have a hot dog, too.” He started writing the order in his notebook. “Do you serve fries with your hot dog?”
“If you want, why not?”
Kevin, before I could ask him if he wanted to do it, he just responded to the guy. “Make it a big size.”
The guy left without asking for our drinks. Kevin was leaning back on the stool, leaning against the table. While he was watching the street, I was watching the man take out two hot dogs and throw them on the stove. The man left the hot dogs alone and went to the other customer. He listened to him and gave him the drink he wanted. When he went back to the hot dog, I got bored of watching the man and put my head on the table.
“What’ll you boys have to drink?”
He put the plastic tray in front of us with the drinks we ordered. I popped two or three of the fries into my mouth before the hot dog. They weren’t crispy like I wanted them to be. This was what was offered to me, I couldn’t complain. I wet my mouth with a sip of my Coke and started to eat my hot dog. I had eaten better ones, but the hot dog here wasn’t bad either.
“Hey, Kevin.” I swallowed the hot dog. “We’ll meet tomorrow at the same time, right?”
“Yeah, what’s up, you plan on hanging out with your girlfriend?”
“Well… no. I was just asking.”
Kevin continued to eat the hot dog in front of him with no more questioning. I took a bite of the hot dog too. I tried to stop thinking about tomorrow and focus on the food in front of me. I put the fries in my mouth and drank my Coke afterwards.
“How’s it going?” When I looked where the sound came from, I saw a policeman sitting on an empty stool to my right.
The owner of the shop responded to the policeman as he slowly looked him up and down.
“Doing good, how are you? It was obvious that the owner of the shop and the policeman knew each other. The gun in the waistband of the policeman caught my attention. I could not take my eyes off the gun “The usual?”
“Yes.”
I squeezed my eyes a few times and tried to come to my senses. The gun was pulling me to it, I couldn’t take my eyes off it. The only thing standing between me and the gun was the safety of the belt. I looked at the policeman. His attention was on the owner. I started to stretch my hand towards the gun in a way that the police could not notice. My hand was now on the safety. I looked at the policeman once more, he hadn’t noticed me. I put my finger on the safety. I opened the safety with my eyes closed. I was surprised that the police still hadn’t noticed me. The gun would soon be in my hand. After the last breath I took, I pulled the gun with a quick hand movement.
“Hey… Hey!”
I got up from where I was and took three or four steps back. I didn’t want the police to catch me, so Kevin stood up and stood in front of me. I threw the gun over the cop’s head.
The policeman immediately went to Kevin for his gun. “You must give it to me or…’’
Kevin didn’t wait for the policeman to finish; he threw the gun back to me. Whoever had the gun would throw it at the other, who would soon throw it to the other. We didn’t care what the policeman said. As Kevin and I continued to throw the gun at each other, the policeman slipped.
“You want anything else?’’ I was looking at a cop on his butt with a gun in my hand. “Hey, boy…”
I came to my senses with a nudge on my shoulder. I looked at Kevin and then at the owner who was looking at me. He was waiting for an answer from me. “No, uh… I don’t want anything else.”
I saw the policeman sitting next to me looking at me for a moment. Before we left the shop, we put the money for what we had eaten on the counter. The policeman turned away, thinking that everything was normal. Kevin and I calmly got up from the stool and started walking. He left after three streets, and I headed for the metro. Now I wanted to get out a cigarette and light it, but the subway station was a block away. It wasn’t worth lighting up.
I was waiting for the metro with other people at the metro station. Now all I wanted to do was to light a cigarette and enjoy it. The subway arrived without making me wait too long. As soon as I got on, I sat somewhere by the window. An old aunt sat next to me close to the departure. The old lady was touching my arm every time the subway swayed. Ignoring her, I looked out the window to see outside. What I always see was greeting me. I was only looking at myself.
I took the cigarette packet out of my pocket, put it between my lips and lit it. I was walking home without knowing the time. What time it is was the last thing I cared about. When I finally arrived in front of my house, I entered the apartment door. I headed for the stairs. I was climbing the stairs one by one without tiring myself. I had left Veronica at home. I wasn’t sure if it was right, but I couldn’t say it was wrong. I continued to climb the stairs without caring about it. She must have gone home. No, she went home. I stood in front of the door for a few seconds. I took the key out of my pocket and put it in the keyhole. As I tried to open it, the door opened by itself. Veronica was standing in front of me.